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Zebra and Novalis' Dinoclemtins

Zebra walked to the shop to buy some stuff. She bought three marigolds, then stuffed them full with juniper berries.

Novalis was watching from a short distance.

'Buying a juniper berry farmland?' he asked, inquisitively.

'Nah. Just sending a few peanuts home for the missus.'

Zebra thought about buying a couple more fig newtons, but decided against it when she read that fig newtons contained iodine.

'The iodine content in fig newtons is forty to one' said Madame Sosostris, in the juniper berry lounge lizard leaflet.

Zebra told Novalis that she wanted to buy a few rings for her friends, the O'Hamptons, in Kentucket.

'Sure' said Novalis, and he rammed his pocket full of crimson and tied juniper berries, salivating profusely all down his dinner jacket.

'Novo!' said Zebra. 'Have you got your tie all in a palaver?'

Novalis put his tie in an icing machine and left it there to collect dust and cobwebs.

Zebra went to the Fashion Brigade and gawped at all the ladies wearing bangols and such forth.

Novalis said 'Who are we to tie ribbons to our hearts of hearts?' and continued writing on the theme of death and Paganini.

There were a couple of used apricots in the street, drying wisely and becoming homes for flies and ministerial maggots.

'The Joker!' said Novalis, showing Zebra the card he had picked at random from the deck.

'Just like you' said Zebra, throwing the cards on to the train track, and running away.

The apricots had sprouted thorns and were just coming up to the level of the satisfied road level, in jeans and patriarchicies.

Jonno-boy Wilson said there was a couple of fly magnets in the store. 'Would you like to go in there?'

'Yes' said Zebra. She collected her purse belongings and called for Novalis. He was busy examining a dung heap for suicidal maggots. 'Com-ing!' he sang.

They entered the store and bought a flute made of windpipes, and a bag full of marinello cheese whirls. Such was the life for a pair of leadbelly fans.

'Marinello!' said Zucchini, offering advice to the fallen Ringwald.

Zucchini was Zebra in disguise. Marinello was Novalis. Both were creations of Juan Antonio Samaranch the Second.

Zebra went to the store to buy fly magnets. Zucchini followed shortly.

Novalis said he was going to buy a packet of mustard seeds for his birthday. 'Would you like any?' he asked Zebu.

'Yes' said Zebra.

There was a man selling lima beans at four thousand per pound.

'Good deal!' he shouted persuasively.

'Good deal for lima beans, perhaps' said Jonno, derisively.

'Lima beans come in many colours' said the man. 'Blue, red, moribundian, and yee-loo.'

'I'll take the b'lack' said Zebra Crossing.

There was a pine marten in the forest who was watching this on his remote digicamera.

'Sure, I'll buy you a couple of pine martens' said Novalis.

Zebu disappeared into the back streets and returned wearing a brightly fish-tuned netter-set.

Novalis went down an alley and found a small sachet of mustard, which he sent to Oxford as part of his peace mission.

There were three brightly-coloured gibbons wandering the streets - some say they were the Oratorio gibbons of Westminster.

'Ooh ooh ah ah' said the first gibbon.

'Yeeeess.' said the second.

Martini said 'Do we have a packet of Clayman's portameaux here by any chance?'

Jucchini wandered into a pit shop.

Harold Martini was the prime candidate for fish police - he sold brainfood - nuggets, ice crystals, piestands and marzipuun.

Jonathan Fishcrystal won the bet to see who would enter the Fishcrystal shop first - it was Barnathus.

'Good show old bean' said O'Harnathus.

There was a pile of newspaper droppings in the middle of the ox-yard - Novalis picked them up with the tips of his fingers and read aloud, to a packed studio audience.

'Hear ye, hear ye. An old mate of mine, Jonny Crawshaw, was in town selling a debate bureau.'

'Boo!' shouted Jonno Fishchryso.

A packet of nuggets escaped on the underground. Zebra asked for the coalition to vote for Jonno Fitzpatrick in the West-Easterly By-ways on Sunday.

A potato, stranded in the Eastern Aisle, sang the penelope tune to 'That's Showbiz' at the top of its voice.

Zebra rustled up some non-musical asparagus shoots from a rather small, but compact, brown and blue dustbin.

Novalis rustled up some Rustler bars, concluding that the price was right (haven for pigeons).

Sandy Lyle hit one in at the fifteenth hole.

Nick Woosnam said Zebra should buy Novalis' homestead in the Carib Sea.

Bhutu Bhutu Bhutulazy said 'I am of one mind, sound and body. Release me to the prisoners and I shall accede. Poronto!'

Nicolas Lazenby bought a packet of wine gums and felt sick to the gills.

Tomas Hardy said 'let's go to Lazenby Inn and Carlisle Tomato Hotel! I'm willing to go the distance with tomatoes!'

Zebra asked Novalis if Ricolas Turnbull was a sausage dog.

'Aye so.' said Novalis.

'Tomato time!' said Zebra.

Ricolas Lazenby asked a packet of cold menthol cigarettes whether they were priced to sell bonds at the stock market.

Licolas Lazenby said 'yes, mon ami.'

Zebra went to Haliford to buy an onion that said Zebu or Maitre Dee.

Haliford was four hours away by bi-plane - it took four full hours to travel there.

Saliford was nine hours away by bi-plane - it took nine hole hours to travel there.

Saliford Ruxpin was waiting for his pineapple juice to ferment, causing Ruxpins.

Zebra and Novalis went to Nicaragua for the fireworks. There were party poppers.

Zebra said 'let's play piano by the seaside.'

Novalis said 'ah mon ami, a fantabulous idea, so driven with expenses and four-for-the-course, i am mad with desire for it in all dures and responses.. let us wait for a minustaur ruxpin and see where the day is headed!'

Ricaragua was four miles by hover-boat.

Neil Ruxpin visited Zebu's half-sister, claiming expenses on the monetary ford.

Tony Tiger visited the alms shop.

Zebu said 'let's party like 'twere 1975!' so they went to Alsop's Pub and Inn.

Alsop said 'where are the nicaraguan party animals!?'

Roger raised his hand, meekly.

Timothy Dalton was there, smoking a cabana pipe between his nostrils, exhaling slowly through a mabana nostril flute in puffs of iodine and icewater trammelled through zones not known to Einstein, Hawking, or Jonathan Dimblebuss.

Roger Hargreaves suggested that the cheese be sold in individually steamed packets.

The zucchinis were ripe. The onions melodious. The ripe melons and the zucchini plant stood side by side in the hot Uttoxxeter air. Jonno-boy Andersen walked in, carrying a parcel for Tony Jonno Underwood.

It was a piece of marzipan wrapped in cheddar. 'Oh goody!' said Tony.

Roger said there was a pile of manure waiting for anyone brave enough to dive in. Within seconds, fortyeight people had made it to the pile and were examining it closely with magnifying glass and tweezing poules.

Ricardo-boy Gomez said there were plenty of iron pullets in the system.

Dale Winton awarded the minotaur a pile of magnifying glasses wrapped in whiskey bottles and iron filings.

Boris Johnson said there were piles of marzipan out back.

'Minority Report' was on the television.

Tody Tjorkoeff entered a minority report cabbage stall.

Jonny-boy said 'let us pray for the cabbage of kings..'

Winston rode to the theatre of newcastle on a chariot pickled in a jar.

Jonno-boy Anderson said 'let us pray for the minority report'

There was a fencing tournament in Brixton.

Gilbert said 'there is a pile of leaves in the way.'

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